I am the best.

barthman @ 2006-10-27T16:35:00

2006-10-27T16:44:39Z

I love the word "should." It's my favorite word. It's a useful tool for sounding like I make a difference.
Be wary of anyone who uses this word.

I love the phrase "have to." It's my favorite phrase. It's a useful tool for sounding like I have no choice.
Be wary of anyone who uses this phrase.

--

Emotions aid few solutions.

THIS WON'T HELP YOU

2006-05-15T12:41:01Z

Every day above ground is a good day.
Every day in good health is a good day.
Every day with job is a good day.
Every day enrolled in school is a good day.
Every day with a car is a good day.
And lastly, just for me, every moment with a guitar is a glorious moment.

Other than the above, what more could you want? Er...never mind, don't answer that, there's not enough time.

You know why I'm awesome? Anything outside those six key areas jus' don't phase me.

So have a good day. Because chances are, you have at least 3 reasons out of 5.

WHOM TO MARRY OR NOT TO MARRY

2006-05-01T13:09:17Z

One of the greatest causes of unhappiness, nay, misery, in the world, is the steady adherence to the superstition that two young people who feel, when in each other's company, the sexual excitement that is so often mistaken for love, must marry. It is folly for which thousands upon thousands are constantly paying a most fearful price. Love! Why, love means self sacrifice. It means wisdom. Many a man for love has remained a bachelor all his life.

Nature has decreed that certain dispositions will antagonize certain other dispositions. Marriage is often so hasty that these faulty dispositions are not discovered until after marriage, when it is too late to retreat, no matter how much it may be desired.

1st. Two people of similar complexion and temperament should never marry. If they do it will prove a failure.

2nd. Two tall, slim people or two short, heavy-set people should not marry.

3rd. A nervous, fidgety person should never marry another nervous person.

4th. A man should never marry a woman who is given to finding fault, or who is peevish and "cranky", or who scolds her little brothers and sisters.

5th. A woman should never marry a man who is naturally inclined to be arrogant and cruel, or who is inordinately selfish.

Don't marry a girl whose chief aim in life is dress; who hangs around dry goods or millinery stores like butterflies around a gorgeous flower. To dress extravagantly is a blot upon any woman's character. When the activity of the mind is taken up with finery the soul grows pinched and lean, the mind fails to develop, and such a woman cannot make a decent partner for any sensible man.

So, too, should no girl think of accepting any young man for a lover who is addicted to the use of liquor, or who spends his money in speculation or in fast living. Shun such as you would an idiot or a fool.

The most important of these is the keeping alive and at its best the sexual desires. This is the highest part of your nature and should be held sacred. Constant or uninterrupted indulgence is sure to destroy its enjoyment and destroy happiness for both.

Vitalogy, 1899

MSDS

2006-02-23T21:44:48Z

I have beautiful cuticles.

2006-02-21T18:49:24Z

Teeny Weeny String Bikini

2006-02-19T18:13:58Z

I had a dream last night that I rocked out with Frank zappa in a little room. I'm not sure where I was but the room appeared to belong to a girl. I had the SG on my shoulder. Frank had the same as me, but the neck was pink. He didn't seem too thrilled about jamming to any Zappa tunes so he turned on some AC/DC and we rocked out--what better music for simple jam sessions?. There was a sweet Fender tube amp in the room. Aside from Frank just sitting on the bed the whole time, it seemed odd that he bleached his hair and cut it short. All in all I played exceptionally well, no mistakes and sweet improvization. This reminds me of the dream I had about ten years ago--before I played guitar--when Jerry Garcia let me play his axe.

Chef?

2005-12-08T21:42:04Z

This link is to my friend Karen's journal. Read it. Her ideas make up for her substandard grammar and punctuality.

It's three o'clock.

2005-11-14T18:18:20Z

I am sitting here in conference room A, in a steering wheel meeting. We’re discussing a technology called “two-shot” in which a magnesium alloy steering wheel armature is over-molded with TPE, then over-molded again with a poly-urethane foam. The point here is to put the heavy TPE at the outside to increase the rotational inertia so the wheel won’t shake as much. So here I sit, discussing potential failure modes, offering my “two cents,” and listening to the engineers bickering over wording and MS formatting. I’m so bored and low I’m just about to get up and take a nap in a bathroom stall. My mind wanders and I think back to school term. That was the last time I was jubilant and carefree (how ironic). Seriously, school is easier. Sure the actual work is harder, but there is more fun to balance it out, not to mention the satisfaction of rising to a challenge. I remember a day when our house hosted a dinner party. My buddy Marshall brought over his drum set in the swell of the temperature on a July afternoon. In the heat we played, no shirts, no shoes, playing whatever felt right and whatever made us happy. Sweat was running down my face and body, only making my hands more slick and fluid on the neck of the guitar. It was that day when my obvious suspicions were confirmed: Music is something to be shared and loved. It’s strange how by producing simple tones one can affect the emotions of others and himself. Sometimes I listen to the recordings of us that Ploof made. It’s late at night when I play the tracks into my headphones. If feels wrong to think "those were the days," when "those" days were just a few months ago. This isn’t some pathetic reminiscing from a guy who’s past his prime. I’ll be back. And as for this meeting, this job, shit.

The city of dreams.

2005-11-11T17:40:58Z

Self-explanatory

2005-11-09T17:04:45Z

Never barth in her hair.

2005-10-24T13:16:19Z

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Ashlee Simpson getting caught lying to the country on Saturday Night Live.

I'd still do her.

Life sux

2005-10-15T15:57:15Z

Attn: All readers

i know you have problems...i just wanted to say that im here for u...i know how hard life is because i live it lol!!!...,.i can call you and we'll talk cuz thats what real friends do....unlike some "friends" i could name, we'll just talk and sort life out and ill try to understand you since noone else seems to...it'll get better, i promise!!!!

leave messeges so I feel loved !! lol

barthman @ 2005-10-14T16:33:00

2005-10-14T20:33:43Z

Livejournal = interactive Lifetime

I love me.

2005-09-29T15:36:34Z

I head up to the test labs at 32 mile to take care of some business. I end up hanging out with test technicians. One guy Pete and I had this conversation:

"Hey Pete."
"Iannnnn, when did you get back?"
"Monday."
"Oh okay, does that mean Jessica isn't coming back?"
"Not for three months."
"Oh, bummer."

At this point I hear the usual gaffs about how I'm not as hot as Jessica, my B-section counterpart.

"Hey yeah that's funny, Pete."
"Ah don't worry about it, you're going to age better than her. She's got a bunch of fat waiting to explode. Once she gets a boyfriend she'll blow up." [inflates cheeks and holds arms out sideways]

I then laugh my balls off. I don't know why it was so funny but Pete's right.

Jessica is hot, btw.

barthman @ 2005-09-27T12:04:00

2005-09-27T16:23:40Z

On my birthday this year someone asked me, "How can you not care about politics?" My usual response is that "It's easy" and/or "pointless." Consider this situation:

I am sitting on my porch on a nice sunny summer day. I notice that there is a group of 7 people walking eastward down my street towards the house across from me. I then notice that there is a group of 7 people walking westward down the stree towards the house across from me. They meet and greet each other. I hollar, "What's all this?" Someone replies, "Our two opposing groups are going to have a well-planned and thought-out political debate/discussion, one group of liberals and one group of conservatives." Fine, I keep playing my guitar. The 14 men walk inside the house across from me. I can't hear what they're saying but I can imagine it's getting heated. After about 4 hours when the groups have made their points and weighed the evidence, the men emerge looking content and accomplished.

It is still a nice sunny summer day, I am still playing my guitar.

The point of this story is to show that the group of people changed nothing. All they did was prove to themselves and each other that they think certain things should and shouldn't be done. So what?

I'm not saying politics are meaningless, they're not. All I can do and all I want to do is vote or not vote. Why declare yourself as a right or left-winger? It doesn't matter. Why discuss politics? It doesn't matter. At least not yet...

See you all on the way down.

2005-09-22T22:36:51Z

Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

cop-out

2005-09-19T17:20:01Z

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	barth
Birthday:	8/20/86
Birthplace:	Heidelberg, West Germany
Current Location:	Flint, MI
Eye Color:	brown
Hair Color:	dark brown
Height:	177 cm
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	25% of (irish, italian, german, delaware native american)
The Shoes You Wore Today:	sneakers
Your Weakness:	women
Your Fears:	open waters, failure
Your Perfect Pizza:	Cottage Inn's deep dish deluxe
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	fix the airbag door on those damn Ford superduty modules
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	"LOL"
Thoughts First Waking Up:	"shit, late for class"
Your Best Physical Feature:	my rippling pecs
Your Bedtime:	7:00 pm
Your Most Missed Memory:	back when the US was foreign
Pepsi or Coke:	pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Mickey D's
Single or Group Dates:	single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	alpacino
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	yes
Do you Sing:	yes
Do you Shower Daily:	most weeks
Have you Been in Love:	yeah
Do you want to go to College:	yes
Do you want to get Married:	eventually
Do you belive in yourself:	yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	only on spinny rides after I eat Taco Bell or McD
Do you think you are Attractive:	oh yeah
Are you a Health Freak:	I'm offended, but yes.
Do you get along with your Parents:	yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	yes
Ever Shoplifted:	no
How do you want to Die:	in bed with an attractive woman on me
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	journalist
What country would you most like to Visit:	Germany
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	brown
Favourite Hair Color:	brown
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	shorter than me
Weight:	lighter than me
Best Clothing Style:	who cares
Number of Drugs I have taken:	none
Number of CDs I own:	tens
Number of Piercings:	none
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	2
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

barthman @ 2005-09-09T00:43:00

2005-09-09T04:45:37Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet mgp1243? unit 34

2.~What would you do if you had never met martamg0317? dunno, same shit

3.~What do you honestly think of pakman607? good guy, solid personality

4.~Would or did dabink and legistrate go out? er, hahaha, no

5.~Have you ever liked always_dozin? still do

6.~If jacquimae died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? don't eat the funny-smelling meat

7.~Would savvy527 and querkytofurky make a good couple? why yes, they would.

8.~Describe vietn0w in 3 words: no way dude

9.~Do you think dabink is hot? why yes

10.~Would jacquimae and dabink make a lovely couple? HAHA no

11.~What do you think of when you see legistrate? busrides

12.~Tell me something humiliating about querkytofurky: she likes me

13.~Do you know any of shortnspunky86's family members? yeah, arjun and suraj (sp?)

14.~What's dabink's favorite color? pink, of course

15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is imsmiling17? she's a dime, baby!

16.~What would you do if gop_always_rite just professed their undying love for you? let her buy me a burger

17.~What language does dabink speak? allusion

18.~Who is dabink going out with? reccer

19.~Is aufingerz a boy or a girl? neither, he's a MAN

20.~Would dabink and gop_always_rite make a good couple? why yes, a splendid couple

21.~Who do you think dntgiva_fck would be great with from this list? always_dozin

22.~When was the last time you talked to dabink? bowling alley

23.~What is always_dozin's favorite band? The Fags

24.~Does savvy527 have any siblings? cuppluh sisters and a bro, I believe

25.~Would you ever date shortnspunky86? hell yes

26.~Would you ever date vietn0w? hell no

27.~Is dntgiva_fck single? no idea

28.~What is dabink's last name? ?

29.~What is dabink's middle name? ?

30~What is pakman607's fantasy? ?

31.~Where does aufingerz live? MP

32.~Would you make out with mgp1243? ewe no

33.~Are martamg0317 and shortnspunky86 best friends? dunno, close friends for sure

34.~Does vietn0w like dabink? no

35.~How did you meet dabink? MST

36.~Is dabink older than you? probably

37.~Is dabink the sexiest person alive? no, that's my title

Take a hint

2005-08-14T17:30:43Z

I pass by certain people on a daily basis in the halls of Kettering and around campus.

I say, "Hi/Hey/Hello, [person1]."

They say, "Hi, how are you?"

I say nothing and keep walking.

Every time this happens. I know for a fact that people don't care how I'm doing because they keep walking as well, so why do they every time? Just say "Hi" and be done with it. If they stop to talk to me I might possibly consider actually telling them how I'm doing.

But be careful, if I actually tell you how I'm doing I will pause for a moment while I collect my thoughts, so be prepared to listen to me.

And for your listening pleasure, here is a section of an improvised jam session Mr. Marshall Adams and I had three or four weeks ago at the house.

This must be how God feels when HE'S holding a gun.

2005-07-08T01:35:06Z

I was sitting in the cafe the other day in deep thought while the gang was talking about God-knows-what. Human beings would be hideous creatures through the eyes of aliens, just as they would be to us. We have hair of varying darkness and thickness everywhere on our bodies, glassy eyes that constantly move about and blink, clothing to cover up ourselves in attempts to look "cool" and be "decent," and hands with five fingers! Not to mention how we eat. Yuck!

Then I looked at couples. How can these creatures find beauty in others when they're all so ugly! The whole thing makes me wonder if I could ever find beauty in aliens. Maybe I could if I was around large numbers of them for large periods of time with large amounts of alien media available.

Many movies and stories depict alien races and super-intelligent beings with superior technology. I believe that the human race will fit this description and fly around alien planets who are where humans are now in terms of technological evolution. Then we'll feed the aliens to our ships for fuel.

Then I snapped out of it to talk about something less-cool than interplanetary diplomacy and alien relations.

barthman @ 2005-06-16T12:25:00

2005-06-16T16:38:19Z

so i got up this morning and my alarm clock was going off no it wasnt my alarm clock my alarm clock was taken away from me by someone so i had to set up the alarm on my stereo to wake me up in the morning to some music i chose which was yes the fragile album then i got out bed then i took a shower with dial soap and hot water and some kind of shampoo that didnt smell too good which is weird since shampoo usuall smells good then i dried off then i put a pair of pants on that were hanging up in my closet that were nice and clean that had a nice crease down the front of the pants theyre made of cotten which is good because cotten breathes it is a natural fiber which i like but i paid more money for the natural fiber with stain defender oh yeah theyre black dockers then i realized i didnt have a shirt to wear then i went to the basement then i ironed a blue shirt real quick then i finished getting dressed then i went back upstairs to get something to eat then i realized i didnt have enough time to eat and get to work on time then i just left the house after thinking about all of that then i walked to my car then i put the key in the ignition then i turned it then after the car started idling like it usually does and is supposed to do i turned on the radio but the rear speakers didnt work and that made me angry then i pushed on the brake then i shifted gears into drive then i looked both ways down the street to make sure no cars were coming because getting into a crash would suck then i drove down the street then merged into m53 nb then 26 mile wb then pulled into a parking space then i walked into the building then i walking upstairs to my desk then i turned on my computer then i started typing

Classic.

2005-05-23T21:50:42Z

barthman @ 2005-04-22T11:30:00

2005-04-22T15:34:14Z

Truth is beauty
WARNING: NOT FOR THE WEAK-HEARTED

barthman @ 2005-04-20T11:04:00

2005-04-20T15:04:16Z

New Pope.

What's for dinner?

Sometimes you have the world by the horns, other times it shits in your ear.

2005-04-08T20:27:07Z

Now it's time to finish my homicide note.